The Art of Being

It's me again! I assure you that at some point my husband may have the inclination to start writing on these blogs but until that time, here I am.

This week I have had the opportunity to meet many patients in my psychiatry placement. I have neither the inclination nor the right to discuss these cases in detail but I did come across an interesting syndrome that is often related to mental health problems such as schizophrenia.

Capgras syndrome is called a 'misidentification syndrome' and is the delusional belief held by an individual that a person, who is usually a significant other to them, has been replaced by an imposter who is identical to them but is not them.

In a patient that I met, the person he believed was an imposter was his own mother.

I realise sometimes that there are a lot of things that I should be grateful for that I don't always recognise or acknowledge. Perhaps there is a lot that we all take for granted. I believe identity is one of those things. If we think about the people who lose the ability to correctly identify family members as their nearest and dearest, do we really value this perception in ourselves? Every time we see the faces of our loved ones and can be with them and talk to them it is an incredible gift. Our brain functions in the correct way for us to be able to build and value those beautiful associations in this life. Isn't that a miracle?

Having recently had a 'change of identity' myself I particularly feel acutely aware of the importance of identity. I have always loved introducing myself as Harriet Mace and am now getting more familiar with the idea of introducing myself by my married name.

Why am I so fond of the name I was born with?

For me, being Harriet Mace has provided the stability I needed throughout my young life to really have the opportunity to get to know myself, discover my strengths and weaknesses and be able to come out on the other side as a functioning (still learning) adult. I've loved the connection my name gave me to my parents, my siblings and my grandparents. I always used to say that when I went North I identified myself by my mother's maiden name and anywhere else I would usually find someone who, hearing my surname, would ask about my connection with cousins, uncles or grandparents.

Somehow, it was worth giving all of that up to be Ben's wife. It was worth this identity change to give me a new pattern of stability (perhaps less stable at first!) that we're building together.

Greater than all of this; greater than any name I have here and the key to all of these relationships is the identity I have been given as a daughter of God. Recently we had the semi-annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. There were so many things that touched me but I think the thing that impacted most deeply was the courage and strength it gives me to know that I am a daughter of God, that He loves me and will never abandon me. He never has and never will.

Many stories were told about people who had endured tremendous difficulties including quite a few stories of parents who had lost children. Motherhood doesn't seem too far away for me now and I am anticipating one day raising a family in my home (by this we're talking years, not months- don't panic, mother!!). The stories of the faith that the parents of the children in the stories displayed hit me so hard. I ended up wondering how any one can endure these things without knowing that they are a son or daughter of God and that all things will be made right; family relationships will continue throughout the eternities. Because, let's face it, existence doesn't mean much to any of us without those relationships.

Identity is a gift and so are our relationships.

Don't waste a moment! 

p.s. This week we've cooked a lot of the same things we cooked last week. Ben has cooked new recipes, identified himself, twice:

• Posh Bangers and Mash!  - this was simple AND delicious... warning, though... don't put too much gravy browning in!
• Creamy chicken and bacon pasta - Again, nice and straightforward but a yummy mid-week meal. Plus, so much tastier when I don't have to make it. (I'd put additional red pepper in to make it more interesting).

Also, I had a very limited time this morning to cook something up for an early lunch before I left. We had lemons, double cream, bacon and chicken that needed eating; plus we're gathering an interesting spice collection. So.....

I rubbed hot chilli powder into the chicken and fried it with the bacon (cut into strips), then mixed a bit of chicken stock, double cream, lemon juice, pepper, cumin and hot chilli powder to create a sauce and VOILA, we had a tasty meal out of nothing.

Don't worry- I'm not having grandiose ideas of opening a restaurant, simply rejoicing over the fact that we're not starving!!!