Thursday 10 March 2016

Singing Happy Birthday

It's March! Which means we have A LOT of family birthdays. About 50% of our 'immediate' family have birthdays in March - my Mom, Ben's Dad, my brother and my Brother-in-law.
 
Today, it's Mother's turn. 
 
There are some pretty annoying things about my mother. For one thing, people say I am her look-alike. We both can't see our resemblance. Fortunately, though, the things I inherited from her go more than skin deep which is great because I can blame the craziness on my genetic make-up.


I genuinely inherited from her, either by nature or nurture, a penchant for playing the fool when the situation warrants it (and sometimes when it doesn't).
 
She also instilled in me a love of music, desire for education and a sense of get-up-and-go. I learned from her how to get out there are see the world and also how to feel like you're making a difference in it in some small way.


Mom (she'd tell me it is spelt "Mum") has a love of life that is infectious and a heart that is never full enough to not be able to extend her love to some new honorary adoptee into the family. On top of that, she is super-wise and always willing to listen and give considered encouragement or counsel if needed.
 
Simply put, she's the best. And she's mine!
 
I'm so lucky that it is my privilege to be her daughter and to know that she is always there for me. I love the fact that as I'm grow(n/ing) up and now have my own home and family that I can still turn to her and now to be counted on by her. I hope she gets to start to see the fruits of the wonderful way she has raised our family!
 
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Here is to another year of silly fun and setting the world to rights!

Thursday 3 March 2016

Hong Kong: A City of Contrasts


Since I met my best friend in my first year of university there has been one travel ambition that has constantly been at the back of my mind as a dream and also an inevitability. The thought of the excitement of visiting has made it easier to acknowledge that Monique will always be a world-traveller who was lent to England for a small moment! It's a little bitter that my friend is so far away and that the time difference makes it so difficult to talk at any given moment (e.g. as I type this, it is 3:20am there. I doubt she'd value a phone call right now!) however, having been and seen and experienced I can understand the pull of Hong Kong. It has a rich culture, abounding energy and contrasts that are breath-taking.
 
Looking through my photographs, I'm not sure that words can really do it justice. It's unlike anywhere I've ever been and my descriptions, unfortunately, can't actually take you there; but bear with me while I try and paint the picture for you.
 
Skyscrapers & Stilt Houses
 
The Flyover leading to Immigration Tower, Wan Chai, Hong Kong Island

Tai O, Lantau Island, Hong Kong
There are massive economic variations in Hong Kong residents - of course there are owners of global conglomerates that work in skyscrapers and live in mansions; there are also fishing villages where houses were built on stilts over the water to avoid government taxation. It takes about 40 minutes to travel between the locations of these photographs and that was amazing to me.
 
The north side of Hong Kong Island is tall. There is no gradual build up of smaller houses on the periphery with a crescendo to the central regions - everywhere you look you are surrounded by skyscrapers. They are architecturally distinct and are incredible in their lack of uniformity but they are polished and immaculate.
 
Tai O offers a different Hong Kong experience. Winding streets, weather-beaten structures and a sense that everything is small and quiet, life is only disturbed by the passing of tourists. The one thing it seems to have in common with the neighbouring island is the value of space - both places have a feeling of compactness to the point that bamboo poles are used to hang washing out of the windows of skyscrapers or bikes are suspended above shop fronts that take up the downstairs of some of the homes. Air-conditioning units are not built in but live on the outside of all of the buildings.
 
Creative uses of space, just above head height. Sai Kung, Hong Kong

 
City & Nature
 
Former French Mission Building (red brick), photograph taken from Queen's Road Central, Hong Kong Island



Old Peak Road, Victoria Peak National Park, Hong Kong Island

 
I lied when I said that you were surrounded by skyscrapers. To an extent, that is true, but you are also enclosed and enveloped by mountains which gather all of the buildings toward the sea to the extent that rather than destroying these beautiful mountains the preference is to reclaim prime-locations at the waterfront. Victoria Peak rises steeply behind the central buildings providing a wonderful backdrop and a reminder of the relative humility of the works of mankind in the face of the beauty of natural things.

I took so many photographs that show relatively wild plants that creep into images of a dazzling city. It seems like nature will allow the existence of the rivals for space as long as things don't get too pristine. As such, it feels like nature isn't really fought back here and there is no attempt to tame and manicure it. Trees grow on the side of walls, roads follow the natural contours of the land; pathways through the hills are not smoothed and fussed over. There are exceptions to this rule (the top of Victoria Peak being one of them - well and truly over-done for the debatable 'benefit' of tourists); but largely it felt like you could escape at any moment to the peace of trees and bamboo. 


Garden Road, Nr Hong Kong Zoological Gardens, Hong Kong Island

Hong Kong Botanical Gardens, Hong Kong Island
This experience in nature is not exclusive to Hong Kong Island itself, either. Some of the best views I saw of Hong Kong were during a hike around/up Lion Rock. It was amazing to see HK island from the mainland in this way, on top of this 495m tall elevation (though we definitely didn't walk from the bottom!). The route is surrounded by bamboo forests and it is normal to come across wild rhesus macaques that wander through this region. You might hear them even when you don't see them!


A view from Beacon Hill, Kowloon, Hong Kong

Lion Rock, Kowloon, Hong Kong

Morning Trail, Hong Kong Island

Modern & Traditional


The Peninsula, Salisbury Road, Kowloon, Hong Kong
 
Lion Dance, Chi Lin Nunnery, Diamond Hill, Kowloon, Hong Kong
 
There is a huge connection to the modern world and the racing times in Hong Kong. There's every modern convenience (or inconvenience!) but there is also a sense of culture and staying connected to the traditions, beliefs and values of the past.  For example, Chi Lin Nunnery (built in 1934) was modernised in 2000 - and it is beautifully done. There is still an understanding of the value and relevance of places like this and they are still being created.
 
Spirituality places a big part in life in Hong Kong. I don't profess to know very much about Buddhism but temples with beautiful patterns and shrines ranging from the very simple to the overwhelmingly ornate are fixtures throughout the thriving city and the surrounding areas.
 
A Temple in Wan Chai, Hong Kong Island
 Another feature that is so obvious and brilliant but blew my mind when I saw it was the use of a material I think of as traditional in all of the modern building work that was taking place - bamboo. Scaffolding throughout Hong Kong is exclusively bamboo! Seeing whole skyscrapers covered in the stuff was something that I'm sure my friend wanted me to calm down about - it's no big deal. Nature gave us such sturdy stuff!
 
Bamboo and Bikes, Wan Chai, Hong Kong
Temporary Theatre for Chinese New Year - Bamboo, Sai Kung, Kowloon, Hong Kong
 I like the modern things and that makes it easy to imagine living in Hong Kong - everything is available. Yet, the real flavour of Hong Kong isn't about the skyscrapers or the numerous shopping experiences you could have - it's the things that place it in geography, culture and era.

Traditional Chinese Junk Boat, Photograph taken from Tsim Shai Tsui (TST), Kowloon, HK
The contrast and combining of the modern and traditional never seems to be apologised for. They are left with no blunting of the contract between the two and it is in the differences that the wonder of each individual part is seen. Just like in people!

Nan Lian Garden, Diamond Hill, Kowloon, Hong Kong


Chi Lin Nunnery, Diamond Hill, Kowloon, Hong Kong
On Lantau Island this difference between the modern and traditional becomes even more evident, if that's possible. The Ngong Ping cable cars are a feat of engineering (and were the cause of much consternation for me) and overlook a thoroughly modern airport. The ascent into the mountains carries you to a very new bronze (completed in 1993) of the pinnacle of Buddhist culture - a giant statue of Buddha on a lotus flower with equally impressive (though smaller) statues around him. The cultures and traditions of Hong Kong's residents are alive and kicking.
   


Tian Tan Buddha, Ngong Ping Road, Lantau Island, Hong Kong
3 of the statues symbolising the offering of the Six Devas, Ngong Ping Road, Lantau Island, Hong Kong
Let's Not Do That Again Any Time Soon, Love Harriet xxx
 
I think this is up there with being one of my favourite photographs from the trip! This man was making Chinese Egg Waffles - a lovely warm treat. I love his board for tourists and his effortless authenticity as he concentrated on making the goodies for a queue of people (the only queue we saw in Tai O that day). 
 
Man making Egg Waffles, Tai O, Lantau Island, Hong Kong
 

The spirituality of the place was made complete for me when I was able to see my faith's addition. It was beautiful to see this Hong Kong Temple and enjoy the peace that came from being in the gardens that are "always open".

LDS Temple, Cornwall Street, Kowloon, Hong Kong
 
Market Manners & Madness!
 

 

Necessary sign at Hong Kong Botanical Gardens, Hong Kong Island
People in Hong Kong are generally very polite. I want to clarify that first! One of the places I found this very evident was in the Markets of Kowloon. At the flower market, the ladies market and the jade market vendors were never too pushy or in my face. Of course, there were negotiations as you should expect but if I walked away I wasn't pursued or made to feel uncomfortable in the way sometimes I have felt in other places.

Jade Market, Battery St, Yau Ma Tei, Hong Kong
 
Yes, there's a "but"...
 
People burped in my face. On the bus, someone actually leaned forward to burp. It wafted past me. I don't really understand the need for signs telling people not to spit either. I generally don't find a need to spit in my everyday life!
 
The other thing I found hilarious was that people queued up when the MTR was arriving in nice orderly lines, but as soon as the doors opened - GO, GO, GO! In England you get tutted if you don't politely let all the people getting off out of the doors before you step in.
 
My final quibble and amusement was with hikers. When I'm walking downhill, I would move automatically to let people who are on their way up get passed. They've got the harder deal and I move in sympathy with their plight. No such deal in Hong Kong. They're going down, they're moving faster, you'd better get out of the way! If you're lucky you might catch a little of their Chinese Operatic music they're playing loudly from mobile speakers as you watch them pass. Then they'll probably grumble about "Americans"... *shakes head* 
 
 
Look Down & Look Up
 

Event Horizon statue, Henley Building, Queen's Road Central, Hong Kong Island
 
Despite being large in some ways, Hong Kong is easy to navigate and get around due to a few ingenious things. One is that a great deal of the walkways are flyovers and as such crossing busy roads is not an issue. Sometimes, finding out where the flyover starts is! I found myself identifying where I wanted to be and then aiming for a building that looked like it might have a route through it. Largely this wasn't challenging. I spent a lot of time above things looking down on them. Ground floor shops are below and in the tall buildings commercial ventures are on every floor, especially surrounding the escalators.
 
The Event Horizon sculptures by Antony Gormley (who created the Angel of the North) arrived in Hong Kong in 2015. These are sculptures of male figures placed on the tops of buildings as a reminder for people to look up. As you can imagine, people have looked up and had concerns for these statues... I'm not sure myself about their sensitivity. But they are interesting and I did find myself surprised to see them. It was a reminder to set my view higher. 
 
ICC, TST, Kowloon, Hong Kong
Sounds & Silence



Din Tai Fung, TST, Kowloon, Hong Kong

I know I picked strange pictures for this one, but bear with me. The first picture shows monkeys on a lamppost in Wan Chai. On our hike up the Morning Trail to Victoria Peak I expected quiet and it was quiet relative to the hub-bub heard when you are surrounded by the city. Instead we heard the overall buzz of the inhabitants, as well as animal sounds. On a short walk we heard tree-frogs, monkeys and the somewhat concerning squeal of a wild boar.

People eat so quickly in Hong Kong. Dim Sum places can have you in, eating and out in 15 minutes. Eating seems less sociable and therefore less talkative in these circumstances so I put that picture under the idea that it is silent. Again, I'm lying to you! People eat noisily! And, why not, when the food is so delicious! I am a big fan of dumplings.

View from the Morning Trail, Victoria Peak, Hong Kong Island

Relative peace and quiet is found away from the city, in small places like Sai Kung (though we went on a Sunday when it was quite busy) - when I go back some day when it's nice weather I will be going back there to get a boat to a beach of my own!

Harbour, Sai Kung, Kowloon, Hong Kong

More photos!

Here are some more pictures that might just raise your interest and whet your appetite for travelling to this beautiful place. I'm sure I'll go back one day.



Ngong Ping, Lantau Island
View of HK island from TST










Friday 29 January 2016

Redeeming Love


 I have a confession, I covet. Yes, I know it's one of the commandments that we should not covet - but I do sometimes. I'm not perfect! Fortunately, I don't tend to look at things that other people have and want them either not to have them or for me to take those things. It has its limits. 

Mostly, I look forward to future things and future events so much so that my future self must be feeling pretty well envied. I constantly search rightmove.co.uk wishing we could buy a house right now; and I look for one with enough rooms for that family we don't-yet-have to fit in. 

My anxiety for the future means that sometimes I have to confess that I don't really live in the 'now'. There's always something to press forward for and while that motivates me, it's also a bit disheartening when you find that you are not moving at quite the pace you would like. This tendency toward impatience can be pretty tough to master and sometimes it impacts on others in my life - I want them to hurry the pace up too! 

It can also impact on my view of trials in my life as well. Trials sometimes make me feel like I'm in a running race - but my track is covered with sticky thick mud in places and when I'm trying desperately to make progress this is constantly impeded. This is so very unwelcome to me! 

This week, I went walking in the mud. It was a cold day and I put on my boots and I got out there. The mud was a lot muddier than I had anticipated - even once going all the way over my boot. It was difficult to see how I was ever going to get home without drowning, sinking, becoming exhausted or at the very least being covered in filth. 

But I had chosen the walk. Thinking about trials, the following scripture came to my mind: 
"...if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" 

This scripture was part of a speech that a King gave to His subjects. Now, life might have been pretty good for the majority of them, but I would suggest that some of them at least were going through trials. They were wading through mud of their own; mud that was their fault or mud that was inflicted on them through the agency of another person.


Today, I realised that I love my life. I love the walk even with the mud around me. I can squelch cheerfully on. Life doesn't have to be perfect for you to be able to feel like you can 'sing the song of redeeming love'. In fact, sometimes it's the mud itself that makes you appreciate the exercise and the foliage and the daytime. Of course, it's lovely to walk over perfect lawns. In our times of ease it is great to enjoy the happiness that comes from not having to try so hard. When life seems challenging, how much more do we need to be able to say that we can smell the roses? Life doesn't have to be perfect to be entirely full of love and beauty. It's ok to be completely happy regardless of challenges.  

I'm so grateful for the strength that comes from grace and from the atonement that allows me to be hopeful without having to wish the present away. 

Saturday 9 January 2016

Working Nine to Nine-Thirty (What a Way to Make a Living)


Monday

You are a Foundation Year Two Doctor. 

It’s eight o’clock (in the evening) and you’re fairly well rested from a relaxing day in which you told yourself you would try to sleep but you ended up in the kitchen concocting something. You reluctantly don your scrub top, hug your spouse goodbye and return three times for various things you’ve missed; a stethoscope, your key-card, your car keys. This is looking promising already.

As you drive to the hospital you realise you are nervous. You’re nervous because you’re working in a team tonight that must be cohesive – and you’ve never met the people you will be working with before. You imagine the worst-case scenario; a lazy Foundation Year One (FY1) doctor leaving it all up to you, and a terrifying, sarcastic Medical Registrar (Reg) who will wonder why you’re not smarter/better/faster. You muse on whether it would be worse with a sarcastic FY1 and a lazy Registrar but you settle on the first scenario. This is going to be awful.

You arrive early on your first night because, as a conscientious individual, you are concerned with how it might sit with the colleagues you are working with for the next four nights if their first impression of you is of a tardy, disruptive, disorganised whirlwind. You walk through an ominously full waiting room to be greeted by an empty handover room, which is disappointing even if this was your objective. Your disappointment doesn’t last long though as through the door one minute later comes the FY1. Apparently you aren’t the only one who’s paranoid about making a good first impression!

The FY1 has done nights before so she spends time talking to you about how the system works and why the number of patients waiting – 10 – means it’s going to be a difficult night. The day team walk in looking completely deflated, adding to the air of gloom and doom. There have been staffing issues which mean they have been under a heavy load all day. You try and smile, hoping that people will realise you’re part of the night team from your fresh face. You succeed in looking hopelessly naïve as you take handover of the ‘bleep’.

During handover you zone out a bit – most of it isn’t for you – and stare intently at the Reg. You decide he has a kind face and you’re pleased that he speaks softly. Maybe he won’t be the tyrant you imagined. The FY1, meanwhile, is busily taking note of her list of jobs – diligent and thorough notes. Things really are looking better than expected. You discuss which roles the three of you will take if a “crash call” should come.

When handover finishes you spend thirty minutes just working out the computer system – a different one to the one you use in your day-job. You realise your password for an essential component doesn’t work. You’re going to have to work around it and rely on the nurses.

You pick your first patient from the top of the growing – now 13 – list of patients needing to be clerked. You decide to concentrate on those patients on the Acute Medical Unit (AMU) as that’s what you’ve been told to do.

You manage to get through the first few patients quickly – they have simple problems you can resolve and send them home once you confirm with the Reg. It’s a good job they are straight forward because when you go back to the list there are five to replace the two you took off it – 16 waiting.

It continues like that for the next four hours, two steps forward, five steps back. But, on a positive note, no crash calls. In that time you see patients presenting with a range of weird and wonderful symptoms: generally unwell, headache, chest pain, jaundice. Your personal target is to ‘sort out’ a patient in 40 minutes – which includes taking a history, performing an examination, checking blood results, chasing x-rays, taking bloods for additional tests, coming up with a management plan, making phone calls to other specialities, prescribing medications and of course ensuring you meticulously document all of the above. Somewhere along the way you realise it’s….

Tuesday

You suddenly realise you haven’t seen the Reg or FY1 for a long time. They’re seeing the patients waiting in A&E so you decide to crack on with seeing more patients in AMU.

It’s 3am and you find yourself staring at a computer screen for two minutes not actually achieving anything. You can feel your body warning you that it’s time for a break, but you’d feel so guilty taking one while patients are waiting and your colleagues are still working so you, instead, grab a jaffa cake and your water bottle so you at least stay hydrated and just take gulps in between documenting blood results.

The list is now so long of patients waiting to be seen that your Reg has asked if the doctors from A&E can clerk patients on the acute medical proforma – it’s 9 pages long and as you see a patient in A&E you can hear the staff aren’t particularly happy but you’re too tired to care and there are still 12 waiting.

You see a few more people  - overdose, seizures, shortness of breath….

Mostly, you just try desperately to get things right for your patients and to write and follow  a coherent plan that will not make your consultant’s head blow up with rage.

Around 6am the air in the hospital shifts and you notice a difference – maybe it’s the fact that it’s not pitch black outside anymore (though you can’t remember seeing any windows) or maybe it’s the gradually escalating activity and volume of the corridors and departments.

When the nurses hand over at 7am you start to get really excited. Just two more hours and you will be doing the same! The…. Minutes… are…. Now… excruciatingly… long…

You’re not sure when your consultant will arrive to ‘Post-take’ the patients who are in A&E and on ‘outlying’ wards. You put your name down to see a patient and the consultant arrives halfway through you seeing them; he scrutinises your patient-plan and you feel really stupid for even suggesting the management you came up with for the individual in front of you. It doesn’t matter that you had no time.

At handover the FY1 expresses how difficult that night was – which reassures you as that means tomorrow has got to be better, right? You hand over quickly and race to your car to get home. You can’t believe it’s Tuesday already and you are working again tonight. You get home, you shut your bedroom door, pull on your sleeping mask and try and sleep the most unnatural sleep you’ve ever had – you’re tired but your body clock is just all wrong.

You wake up at about 6pm and set about making dinner – determined to make it work for both you and your partner you make ‘Brinner’ (Breakfast-dinner) which includes eggs and sausages. You need your strength!

At 8:15pm you leave the house, making it to handover just ten minutes early this time. The waiting room isn’t rammed full of people as you walk through – which you’re taking to be a good sign – but when you look at the list of patients waiting there are still 7. That’s two and a third each to see even before you start – though you decide that ethically it’s probably not appropriate to split the last patient three ways just for ease of labour division. *Sigh*

You are handed one job to do during the meeting – to go to one of the wards and check if a patient there has been clerked as the nurses can’t find the documentation. Dutifully, you go to the ward and pick up the patient’s notes. There is a full clerking there – it’s just not on the right paper. You roll your eyes and go back to look at the list. There are now 11 waiting.

You see two patients both with very pleasant manners and families. They are concerned but polite and ask questions that you provide them with answers to. One of them needs a blood test and though the nurses could do it, they are so busy that when you mention it to them they ask if you wouldn’t mind. You know there are 10 patients on the list but you take the blood test – it will be the difference between whether the patient can go home or not, and you’re also aware that putting pressure on already busy nurses is not the way to make friends and influence people. You decide on balance that you can spare ten minutes to take the blood. You manage the patients appropriately and start feeling quite positively about how the night is going – this is the part of your job that you love.

You’re just writing up notes from the second patient when you hear an ominous bleep – you strain to hear the message, “ADULT EMERGENCY; WARD 34”. One of the nurses overhears the message, “you’d better run!” she remarks. You do, meeting the FY1 on the way. She has longer legs than you so you jog while she walks – you know that if you get to the arrest out of breath you are good to no-one, but you still need to get there ASAP. You arrive and find the patient is a frail elderly man. Looking through the notes you realise he has a terminal cancer but as no ceiling of care has been decided by his ward team if his heart has stopped you need to commence CPR until it is determined to be futile. Someone hands you a syringe full of blood and you spend the next ten minutes sending some of the bloods off and trying to use the machine to get a blood gas reading. But you’re fairly sure what the outcome will be.

Wednesday (though you haven’t realised it)

When you next check the list, there are 18 patients waiting. The whole clerking team was at the crash call so patients are building up – some are waiting for more than 5 hours to see a medical doctor but fortunately most of these have been seen and stabilised in A&E.

You see more patients – stroke, sepsis, overdose. You receive a bleep from the nurse about your gentleman who was waiting for the blood test result – you had checked ten minutes ago and it wasn’t back but looking at it now it is normal and the patient can go home. He is very grateful. You advise him to come back if he has any more problems. You quickly write the discharge letter and go back to see another two patients; diarrhoea and vomiting, shortness of breath.

You are tired and hungry. You feel guilty but when you feel like you can no longer concentrate you go to the handover room and shovel down as much of the rice as you can, congratulating yourself on having the foresight to pack something so easy to eat. You guzzle down 500mls of water and even allow yourself a bathroom break.

Refreshed, you get back on to the list. It’s now around 6am and the flow of patients has had a temporary lull. Oh yeah, it’s Wednesday! You wonder how many patients’ notes have the wrong date on them because you forgot to start writing the next number. You probably wrote 2015 on most of them too.

You see a patient in A&E who has come in for shortness of breath who is tired and bored. You indulge her boredom by listening for a few minutes. She tells you about her family, that you have nice eyes and about her dreams for the future. You make your apologies, genuinely regretting that you can’t talk for longer, and go to see a patient on AMU who has sepsis.

The consultant arrives and because there is not a lot of time they let you off the hook – they will go and see the patients by themselves so you can make it to hand over at 9am. You describe the patients and your management to him – what you can remember of it, anyway. There’s one on your list whose face just hasn’t stuck so you can only go on what you’ve written down.

That night was worse than the first, you reflect. You handover and go home. Sleep feels a little more natural today – you are exhausted and feel nauseous.

You wake at around 5pm with your sleeping mask off. You can’t find it so go back to sleep for an hour. You wake up at 6pm and realise it has slipped down and is around your neck. You laugh at your 5pm self for not being able to find it. It is the exhausted doctor equivalent of not being able to find your specs which are balanced on your head.

You stick a pizza in the oven feeling much less inspired tonight. Any food will do. You see your spouse for an hour, then kiss them goodbye and leave for work.

Walking through the waiting room you are again pleasantly surprised to find it isn’t too full and are shocked when you look at the list. There are 13 waiting already.

The FY1 walks into the handover room and tells you that the reason for this busy-ness is that a local hospital had an infection control risk identified and can’t take as many patients there – all the ambulances are diverting to our A&E. You can only hope this crisis is sorted soon because it looks like you’re in for a monstrous night. The day team let you know there has been another problem – the computer system was down in A&E and AMU during the day for three hours, which slowed everything down as the team were using paper request forms for everything. They look exhausted but are able to see the funny side to what they are handing over. You don’t see it as much at this point – maybe you’ll get there at 9am tomorrow.

You are handed over three things to review at some point during the night. You write them on your list and decide you’ll get to them as soon as you can.

You see a young breathless woman and start treatment for a chest infection. You see a woman with a history of alcoholism who came in with a bleed. You rule out the most worrying things and admit for observation. You see two more patients with chest infections – it’s the time of year.

Thursday

A&E is busy tonight and the nurses are rushing around fairly panicked. They ask whether you would be able to clerk patients before they have seen them. You tell them it’s up to your Reg to make that decision – if he wants you to do that, you will. You never hear back on that. Since you arrived in A&E four hours ago it is actually getting a lot better already – in fact, it’s looking quite…. But you would never use the “Q” word (…quiet) for fear of retribution from karma and subsequently your colleagues. Things are okay though.

You start seeing the next patient and as you’re writing in her notes, a nurse in charge of managing flow through the hospital approaches you – you want to tell her how very busy you are but you swallow that down to listen. She says there are two patients on A&E who they can get to the wards if you can see them quickly. You want to scream but instead ask politely which two. When she tells you, you feel a sense of relief and reply (trying your hardest not to sound smug) that you have, in fact, already seen one and the other is the patient whose notes you are writing at this very moment. She is pleasantly surprised and you feel very smug indeed.

That sense of smugness dissipates as you see the next patient – he is really very poorly and you go to find your Reg next door to ask him to come and take a look. He agrees the patient is very unwell and asks Intensive Care to come and see whether he would be a candidate but you both know he is not. Though nothing is diagnosed you suspect from his slight physique that something has been wrong for a long time.

Your Reg asks you if you wouldn’t mind taking a blood sample from a patient they have seen who was really unwell to see how they’re doing. You take the sample and run it through the machine… it doesn’t look promising and you report the results to the Reg who thanks you for your efficiency.

It’s now about 5am. You decide you have to eat and you check blood results as you shovel down more rice (if it was a good idea last night, why buck the trend?).

You see two patients – confusion and shortness of breath. The second has a high heart rate which you miss; this is pointed out by the nurses who take him to resus so he can be monitored. You see a patient who A&E forgot to inform you was already going home. You’re irritated by the waste of time. You see your chap with the high heart rate and prescribe something to slow it down.

You squeeze in seeing one last patient – a man with an abnormal blood test result – before your consultant arrives at 7am.

She is annoyed due to being disturbed in the night by a call from the nurses in charge of flow through the hospital. They told her that A&E was so busy she needed to come in and clerk on A&E. This went down like a lead balloon, and she was wondering what on earth was going on. This morning, things seem fine and she is confused.

It doesn’t help that as you start to see patients with her, an ominous bleep sounds. “ADULT EMERGENCY: WARD 36.” You look at the Reg and, apologising to the consultant, run down the long corridor to the ward.

The patient has no access so all the members of the resus team are crowding round trying to find a vein so his low blood sugar and low blood pressure can be treated. You try and take bloods but fail – the blood pressure is the problem. The Reg sends the FY1 away to continue doing the post-take with the consultant – who seems set to leave a devastating path of jobs in her wake. You stay to try and stabilise the patient but it doesn’t seem to be working. When more help arrives your Reg tells you to make your way back to the post-take.

You catch up with the consultant who complains about the bad night’s sleep they got due to the phone call from the nurses. You try to sympathise…

At handover you find out from the Reg that the patient you were called to see stabilised in the end. You are glad but leave celebrations to the less tired. You try and go quickly after handover but don’t get far before you realise you don’t have your phone – you were using it to look at the drug formulary and must have left it somewhere. Fortunately you bump into a nurse who knows where it is – an answer to prayer!

You get home and do some last minute studying for a test you have later that day. It’s at 4pm, about 40 minutes away. Yes, it’s crazy that you booked it for then but there were no slots left anywhere else and you have to sit this test for your applications to training.

You sleep for three hours and then wake up, get dressed and go to sit your test.

You arrive home at about 7pm and eat a quick meal with your spouse and prepare to go out to work.
It seems normal now to arrive when there are ten waiting and tonight is no exception. You are pleased to see the day team who look relieved that their last shift of the week is coming to an end. They tell you the day hasn’t been so bad.

You try and start seeing patients on A&E but they’re sending them all through to AMU so within the space of ten minutes three new patients arrive on the unit. You decide to help there first as otherwise the nurses won’t know what the plan is for each of the patients.

You clerk four patients – all ladies. Sepsis, falls, chest pain and overdose. The second patient needs to be seen by a different speciality so you make several phone calls and eventually get the right person. They give you two minutes of advice and tell you they aren’t coming to see the patient as there is nothing different they will do. You spend some time with one of the families and are awed and amazed by the way they communicate with their disabled relative. Moments like this give you a real sense of the faith you can place in the goodness of people – they are wonderful. You follow their lead on communicating with their relative and they seem content.

You grab a quick drink and head round to A&E where they tell you they are discharging one of the patients so you don’t need to see them. You take them off the list.

You glance at some notes trying to find your next set and realise someone you know personally is in A&E and that a friend of yours is clerking them. Your knee-jerk reaction is to tell your colleague you know the person they are seeing, but you are restrained. You know if you mentioned it your colleague might feel like you want some information and as you aren’t going to see the patient you have no right to confidential details – so you don’t tell your friend you know the patient they are seeing. That way they don’t accidentally tell you something they shouldn’t.

A man collapses in a cubicle and you go to see if you can help.

Friday

You see a young woman who came in after taking an overdose. She is crying and tells you everything is awful. You take the time to reassure her that help is available. You use the word “hope” along with telling her there is help and you deeply wish for her that what you’re saying becomes reality.

It’s 2am but tonight you don’t feel tired. Adrenaline is carrying you through. You stop caring about how many there are on the list.

You see some more patients; alcohol withdrawal, urine infection, foot infection and shortness of breath. While in the middle of seeing the last one (at about 6am) you hear an ominous bleeping noise. “ADULT EMERGENCY; WARD 202.” You have no idea where 202 is but you bump into your Reg in the corridor and follow him. Of course, it’s on the other side of the hospital – in a different building. A patient has collapsed. You manage to give her some glucogel and she begins to come round.

You get back to A&E and see a patient who has had a fall. You think he can probably go home. You wonder if you can squeeze in seeing one last patient before the consultant arrives and you go to find your FY1 colleague on AMU. You see this last patient together – you examine and he looks up the results. It’s quick and efficient and you manage to complete the clerking before the consultant arrives.
You start seeing the five post-take patients with the consultant – most of them are yours as the FY1 saw the AMU patients last night. The consultant asks who saw the fourth patient and when it is, again, you he pauses to compliment you. He asks how many patients you saw and when you respond he takes time to appreciate your hard work and even asks you to come and see him at some time next week so that he can fill a form for you on your portfolio.

You are so buoyed up by this recognition that you decide you will stay for half an hour after handover so you don’t have to ask the next doctor to take on the few jobs you have left to do – you will do them yourself.


You leave the hospital around 10am on Friday morning. You are free! The morning air has never been so refreshing. Most of all, you are grateful to the kind consultant who allowed you to finish your nights on a sweet note. 


Disclaimer: genders, locations and details in this blog do not necessarily reflect the reality of people and places discussed. Efforts have been made to ensure confidentiality of patients and their relatives are preserved.