Manners Maketh Man

I had a Headmistress at Primary School who would say this phrase to us:

"Manners Maketh Man!" 

At the time, I knew I was being told to be polite but didn't really analyse it further. Until this week. Oh, this week! 

I have to say that I've had two of the rudest experiences totally out of the blue this week that I've ever been subject to from total strangers. In both cases, I had done something really silly - so maybe I deserved the response? 

Scenario One

You're driving down a road on your estate. It's a narrow road and you have to turn left at the end of it. When you look right to turn left there are cars everywhere and it's pretty difficult to see much further than a few metres. You think it's clear, though you realise you were struggling, and you pull out. 

A car comes from the right, very quickly so it wasn't in your eye-line when you checked. You've pulled out in front of him and he has to slow down to your speed. He's not happy. Oops! You can see him gesticulating in the mirror behind. You breathe, try not to respond and hope he'll be going a different way at the round about. 

At the round about, he pulls up alongside you. He winds down his window (on a cold morning) just so he can shout and swear at you, telling you to "USE. YOUR. EYES." 

Scenario Two

You're shopping late one night. There's hardly anyone around. You finish trying things on in the changing room and you go outside to the desk where someone will assist you putting back the things you don't want. You're tired, and you've not got a good hold of the items you were trying so you lean them on the desk, prior to engaging with the assistant. You look up and a girl also by the desk is glaring at you, a few items of clothing in her hands. "I was actually here first," she tells you, angrily. 

In both of these scenarios I undoubtedly got something wrong. In the first scenario the results could have even been dangerous. I tried to get it right and didn't mean harm but I bothered and offended people. People who were rushing and didn't have time for my mistakes. 

Both times I felt a bit shaken up. I felt that the reaction was totally disproportionate to my crime. I'd certainly got it wrong but I was amazed that complete strangers had gone out of their way to react in a volatile way toward me. Honestly, I felt sorry for the man in the car. I thought his blood pressure must be really high for him to lean out of a window and shout at a girl. 

Whatever happened to English civility? 

Whatever happened to "Manners Maketh Man"? 

Whatever happened to Class? (Cut to "Chicago"!) 

Some of it, I think, is to do with the internet. We can get away with writing so much that is unpleasant. We can whine and moan about people, situations and feelings we have in a way that we couldn't before. It's a very small step before we start saying it. 

I've heard some people say that people who post only the happy moments in their lives are just bragging and giving an unrealistic view. I think it's all about controlling your own media. All of us are celebrities in each other's lives now. We know when a baby is born, when someone loses weight, when a new coupling is made; in exactly the same way we know about celebrities. BUT we don't have to give ourselves bad press. That part is something entirely avoidable. We just have to choose which moments to share and which ones not to. Having control over that part of our lives helps us to remember to censor ourselves with strangers and in public. 

Be yourself - but always be your best self. 

Even with strangers! 

After all, Manners Maketh Man.