The Story I'm Writing...

I've always been something of an avid reader and different story-lines and characters have caught my attention from time to time. I've rolled my eyes at Scarlett O'Hara, cowered with 'the second' Mrs de Winter and longed with Jane Eyre.

I also like to pick up my pen from time-to-time. I've been known to write poetry and many, many beginnings of stories. I set the scene, imagine it all and despise the shallow characters when I put pen to paper. I would love to learn how to write creatively and well but unfortunately, time doesn't seem to permit this. (Maybe when Ben is a gazillionaire!)

However, there is one piece of writing that I'm proud of and that is my journal. It came to mind this week because Ben picked it up (with permission) and started reading back over some of our first dates. He read about my first impressions of him and he enjoyed the ego-boost he received. Delving a tiny bit further back he came across some entries about boyfriends past and as I read over his shoulder I couldn't help laughing at myself back then. I was like a person in the middle of a book constantly guessing at the ending and ultimately doing so with very little success. I wanted to put a face to the hero before he was even on the scene.

Despite the fact that it could be embarrassing to read back over the failings I've had and the troubles I've been through along the way, it didn't feel that way to me. Looking back seems to make it even more clear to me about the path my Heavenly Father is taking me along; He doesn't particularly want me to be able to guess at all the twists and turns- He wants me to experience them and make my decisions as I face the challenges I come up against.

All the way through 'Gone With The Wind' I am constantly thinking, "Scarlett O'Hara! You need to calm down and just admit that you love Rhett!" but despite my frustrated 'guidance' sent her way Scarlett continues to become a victim of her own weaknesses- perceived by her as strengths. I suppose in a lot of ways that's how I would feel about myself when looking back through my thoughts. However, fortunately, I know where I am now in the story and it's a great place to be. If that's the road that gets me here, I'll happily read about my journey down it again and again.

One day, I'll look back at these days with the same frustrated amusement.
One day, I'll read these things to my children!
And One day, I will write that book!