Circle of Love

Family History (Genealogy) has long been a terrifying concept in my mind. I remember being a young child and sitting for hours in the Family History Centre just winding and winding and winding. I didn't realise the purpose of trawling through old records then the way I have come to over the past few weeks.

I have taken time, during this break from medical school, to try and 'sort out' our family line into something I can recognise and work with. My reason for wanting to do this work initially was so that Ben & I can go to the temple on our 1 year anniversary and perform sealings for members of our family who died with civil marriages but who can now have the opportunity to be bound to their loved ones forever. For our anniversary I wanted to give the most amazing blessing I have in my life to someone else.

It has hit me really hard how little I know about my ancestors. I thought I was doing really well when I could name all of my grandparents' parents despite only knowing two of them in this life.  Due to the diligent work of my paternal grandparents and my mother, on both sides of the line we have names going back around 11 generations. And it feels so good to know them.

Inevitably, when you see a name followed by a birth date and soon after that a date of death, it makes you consider life and mortality. It's such a rapid turnover and sometimes when all you're doing is finding names it can start to look like the only important thing any of your ancestors did was to have children, thus supplying new names to the world. Pretty difficult not to get broody when you're having thoughts like that; but I'll persevere!

Life seems to come in stages and I'm starting to appreciate this as I'm growing into my role as an (dare I say it?) adult. I love the particular stage I'm in. Newly married with every hope and possibility still gleaming in front of me! I'm kind of even relishing the fact that I do not yet really know who I'll be, where I'll be and what I'll be in the future.

When talking to Mum about this last night she made the observation that when you are born there are lots of people around who love you. Those hands hold you in their arms and feel blessed that you have come to this world and to their family. She observed that you progress through life with those people and new people come into your life too. By the time you die, it is a completely different set of people that surround your hospital bed than the set of people who welcomed you into this world - at least, that's true of those who have the privilege of living into old age. Different hands wave you off on your journey than the ones who welcomed you into this world. Yet, there's love there all the same.

One of the reasons that marriage (to me) is so incredible is because it bridges the gap between both circles of love: often your spouse knows your parents and the family you were born into and they are the ones with whom you build the lives of the ones that will eventually say goodbye. Though that's maybe quite a sobering thought, to me it seems a joyful one too. Maybe that's because I'm at a point where I have "more decades to go than the ones that are behind".

Life is a blessing and a privilege. I'm so grateful for the stages that we pass through in it.

I'm grateful to have been little "Harry" (my nickname as a child- calling me this now won't get a reaction!) who tried her hardest to skip around the living room and looked a lot like a baby elephant;

I'm grateful to have been an awkward High-School aged child with parents who constantly tried to teach me;

I'm grateful that I went to YSA and experienced all of the good and bad bits of dating;

I'm grateful to have found the person I wanted to marry;

I'm grateful to be at the point where I find more reasons every day to love my spouse;

I'm grateful for the moments ahead. I hope I'm always positive about the future and that I never feel that all of the best bits are behind me. I want to be the ninety year old woman who is still running around getting involved in everything that I can because life is still full of fun for me.

I hope I have the privilege of growing old with my best friend.

Next Saturday (13th July) one of the closest friends I've had growing up, Alex, is marrying the love of his life Holly in the temple. I feel fairly certain that I'll cry at their wedding: it's been a while coming and weddings always give ample opportunity for reflection on the amazing wonder and blessing of two people who love each other uniting forever. Plus, I just love these guys:

In October, the latest addition to our family and therefore circle of love ("It's the CIIIIRCLE.... THE CIRCLE OF LOOOOOOVE". Lion King. Sort of.) is Lawrence. My elder sister, Charly, is making a huge step forward into a new extension of our family of her very own. Ben and I were able to take a few photos with them to mark their engagement. I'm sure they won't mind a few of the more sneaky ones ending up on here. :) 

It's just so exciting to see all of this happening. You can never really guess how things are going to work out until everything slots beautifully into place. 

Whenever the future is uncertain I just rest-assured that I can count on it being full of one thing, as long as I have the strength to give it, and that is LOVE. Love is what motivates and inspires people to make sacrifices, push themselves harder than they knew they could and decide to be better each day. Whether that is love of self, love of family, love of friends or love of Heavenly Father. Love transforms throughout life, expanding as you go to fit all of the people you have the privilege to call friends and family. I am so grateful for that. I'm grateful to parents who taught me that there's always enough to go around by the example they set of loving those who came into my childhood home even for a short time. That's what life is about.